I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
