Just fell off a train. Bad.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize