11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
