so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
