I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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