the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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