You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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