I am puke
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
