so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
