Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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