wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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