Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
