East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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