ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
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