You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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