I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
this will be a night to untag.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
