i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
