so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
even my farts smell like vagina
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Randomize
