He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
