i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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