just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
