i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Barsexuality is the new black.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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