Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
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