Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
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