I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
