its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Randomize
