Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
