Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
