Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize