spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
