god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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