we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize