We need to rekindle our bromance
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Randomize
