it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize
