i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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