in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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