She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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