Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize
