Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize