She said her name was "party"
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Randomize
