I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
