Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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