They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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