Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
