I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Randomize
