That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
