I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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