just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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