What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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