We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
