I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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