Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
