living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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