This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
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