Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I could fuck to npr.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Randomize
