How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
