You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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