So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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