There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
so let's talk penis.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
