I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Randomize
