god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
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