I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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